Have you ever awakened from sleep and not wanted to get up?...that's how I awoke yesterday morning...very early...earlier than I needed to...earlier than I wanted to...earlier than i had planned...
As I continued to lay there, my mind began considering options for returning to the sleeping state...I had the thought that if I stayed completely still I might fall naturally back to sleep...I did not want to move, so this was easy...it just didn't work...
As I felt deeper into the feeling I was having...into motionlessness...I had a vision of a lizard...sitting quietly on a rock...until it sprung to action...scampering away in a flurry of movement...that's when I realized the allusion had not quite captured what I was feeling...it was laden with more alertness...more aliveness...than I was...
Next, I had the thought that maybe if I didn't move and I didn't think, I might fall naturally back to sleep...of course, I had another thought instead...what we resist does persist...this time the thought was about the nature of action...and whether, if your body is unmoving, there is any action occurring...
This is when the realization came...I could feel my heart beating...sense the blood coursing thought my veins...feel the synapses in my brain having one thought after another...I might appear motionless but there was plenty of action going on...
In Sanskit, the word karma translates to action...karma is said to be occurring whenever there are three things present...a doer, an action and a recipient of the action...it occurs whenever there is a sense of self...of I...so to be truly motionless would require no sense of the self...no actor...no I...
I have gotten to the state of "no I" a few times in my life...and if I had gotten there yesterday, I might have fallen naturally back to sleep...instead I was too busy thinking about sleeplessness to allow it to happen...instead, like the lizard, I sprang out of bed and started doing...
