I haven't always been a planner...and I didn't get really good at it until I took a series of project management classes...where I learned the concept of "lessons learned"...it's how professionals refer to mistakes...the idea that I was only learning a lesson made it easier to plan and do things that are new to me...I knew I could address anything that might go wrong...and now I am no longer haunted by my errors in judgment...there are no bad outcomes to ponder endlessly, become depressed about, beat myself up over...
From an early age, I had been taught much the opposite...striving for perfection was everything...It was mostly the influence of one of Mom's favorite sayings that instilled this impossible challenge in me...
"If a task is once begun, never leave it 'til it's done. Be thy labor great or small, do it well or not at all." — Anonymous
This saying has undoubtedly motivated many people to do great things...but not me...no, I unconsciously adopted what I am sure was an unintended meaning: if you don't think you will do something well, don't even attempt it...
In childhood especially, this kept me from deciding in favor of doing a number of things. My earliest memory of turning down a big opportunity was when I was twelve...Sherm Chavoor approached my parents about training me to swim competitively...Mom asked me what I thought and I told her it sounded like too much work to me...secretly, I was afraid I would not be good enough, so I chose not to try...
It took me until I was twenty or so to get over this...friends took me snow skiing...something I had never done and would not have expected to be good at...they encouraged me to put my skis on at the bottom of the lift while also reassuring me that the lift operator would stop it so I could get off...I believed them...
Of course, you have likely guessed the outcome...no, the operator didn't stop the lift...yes, I was forced to ski off the chair, somewhat awkwardly I'll admit...and then these seasoned skiers left me on the top of the mountain to find my way down...I'm sure they are still laughing about this...and the gift of this experience was one of the greatest I have ever received...I learned that I really can do almost anything...
Flash forward forty years and I often attempt things that are new and different...whether or not I feel I'll be good at it...like photography, for example...